Family Vacation, July 2015–His Name is Pete

Over the past several weeks, My Husband and I have made the decision to sell our farmland and find an established home in the city in order for me to be closer to work, the girls to have better schools and for all of us to be closer to Our Tribe. My Husband has decided to hire a colleague who is also a Realtor whose name, despite being repeated by My Husband at least two dozen times, completely escapes me. As we texted last night, I in bed, and he in the living room, he told me that Scott/Jim/Paul/Andy was coming over at noon today.

Narcotized as I was by my return to my own personal and exquisitely comfortable mattress, I was thinking only of discussing which homes we would like to see with Brian/Joe/Sean/Dave.

Moments after my abrupt and cacophanous awakening this morning, my brain registered the fact that Roger/Larry/Mike/Amos would be *inspecting our home* for market readiness. Needless to say, the house was neither tidy, clean nor organized. I flew into a blind panic.

“I told him we just got back from vacation”, My Husband tried to calm me, “and we have kids”. At that moment in time, my beloved could not have uttered more useless phrases had he read me the directions for making instant oatmeal, several packets of which happened to be strewn across the pantry floor at that very moment.

The girls cleaned up their rooms as I dashed about the house in our family tradition of White Tornado cleaning/straightening/throwing crap into closets. For those of you unfamiliar with the White Tornado, it looks just like a Tasmanian Devil event, except with less saw dust.

Finally, Pete the Realtor arrived, just as my shvitz was reaching its peak, with sweat rivulets running down my face, neck, back and various other fissures which rarely, if ever, see the light of day.

After our introductions were made, Pete noted that two other homes in our neighborhood had been bought by investment firms in the past year. He called one of these from our kitchen and offered them our house. Within 5 hours, he called us back to say our offer had been accepted! PETE SOLD OUR HOUSE IN UNDER 6 HOURS with a single phone call! We will not have to show it once, (thanks be to God). Since this also reduces his workload considerably, he is only requesting a fraction of what most realtors would charge in commission. His business acumen and knowledge of the market are unsurpassed! I am telling you, this kid is going to be the next Donald Trump, except with good hair and a great personality.

So now our house hunt begins in earnest. We already have short list, so hopefully we will be able to find something before we get tossed out on our butts.

Never mind that school starts Monday, we haven’t done back-to-school shopping, I have a ton of work to do, and My Husband is working this weekend, we will be touring houses and scrubbing the Interwebs for data to analyze, compile and digest. Gotta have your priorities, people!

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